Courage Building Chuchuhuasi

Welcome to the fourth instalment of The Plant Medicine Series. So far I have shared insight to my experiences with some amazing master plants such as Ayahuasca, San Pedro and Bobinsana and  how they have helped bring healing to me and have given me the courage to change my life. Now the focus is on Chuchuhuasi, which is one of the master plant trees growing native to the Peruvian Amazon Rainforest. Chuchuhuasi offers the drinker all the benefits you would expect from drinking a big ol’ tree such as energy and grounding, increased life force, courage and protection.

My journey with this amazing plant began at The Garden of Peace, a natural medicine healing centre nestled in the heart of the Amazonian Rainforest in Peru.  I was fresh out of my full time corporate job where I worked for four years in a male driven environment.  I was stressed, burnt out and in need of some serious reconnection with momma earth and the feminine within me. I was set to be dieting this plant in silent isolation alongside Ayahuasca and this could not have happened at a better time for me. I was already feeling amazing having done a diet with Bobinsana 10 days before, during which I experienced pure bliss as my heart and mind was overflowing with love, oneness and a connection to everything around me. I was super excited to see what benefits drinking a strong medicine from a big tree would bring to my life. The medicine  is known to have a masculine energy,  but surprisingly what I was experiencing was something purely feminine. I felt a deeply nurturing and whole hearted connection with myself and everything around me, I almost felt like I was shedding like a snake. After a few days I felt the presence of an incredible goddess energy who was giving me clear vision on how to remain true to myself and my femininity in order to thrive and stay healthy. This beautiful goddess was opening up my heart and was showing me how to heal. She asked me if I would like to teach other women how to connect to their heart. If I chose yes then the goddess showed me that I would be fully supported in doing this. 

Because of the nature of a master plant dieta, it’s a normal part of the process to experience deep rooted pain and emotion coming to the surface. The silent isolation and lack of distraction from external influences really draws things out. I felt years of my suppressed pain and inner turmoil gently lifted to the surface by momma nature. I found the things I constantly worried about seem to melt into the heart of the forest and cease to affect me. There is something really magical about being immersed in the bosom of nature. The gentle hum of the bugs soothed my nerves and helped me to remain grounded. The gentle trickle of the river was a constant reminder to be in the flow and all these uncomfortable feelings would eventually pass, just like the river. In fact all of my daily struggles seemed so small and meaningless. Nothing else seemed to matter outside of being in the jungle.

Every day I felt the warm embrace from the divine feminine, delivered not only through a sense of deep nurturing feelings from nature, but also a beautiful soft energy I was picking up from the strong, powerful female guests that were staying in the huts close to me. The shaman and leaders of our retreat, Lara and Rayna were also both strong earthy women. This energy was reminding me to always stay rooted to my sisters and true to my femininity, in particular the energetic highs and lows of my menstrual rhythms.  My moon cycle began on day two of the retreat right in the middle of our first ayahuasca ceremony. The pain was unbearable, I had severe cramping, vomiting and really low energy. I was flat on my back for days until something clicked inside of me. Everything I was going through was merely a shedding of my old life. A message from nature to surrender to the pain. In that moment I realised just how magical it is to be a women, free to be able to do as I wish, to be blessed with the gift of bringing life into this world, to bring softness to difficult situations, to shed, to connect and to nurture.  My toughened exterior and jagged edges were melted away as I fully learned and experienced the very meaning of the divine feminine. I sat and wept tears as I felt the suppression of the feminine energy across the planet, I felt the pain of Mother Earth and she struggled under the strain of an imbalanced planet ruled by power driven, egotistical male leaders that were so out of touch with their softness that we were all suffering as a result. Wars, famine, tearing up the environment and driving out indigenous people all to gain more money and power. I really felt the pain of pacha mama as I realised we are pushing the planet to breaking point. I understood how the goddess needs to return. That soft nurturing energy that lives within all of humanity, that same energy that has the ability to melt the most angry of hearts, to dissolve ego and she who helps her children rise.

Over the course of the next few days I felt incredibly strong, the medicine was giving me so much energy; I could run up the stairs with bags of energy and I hardly needed to eat. The plant medicine was giving me so much life force and courage that my whole body felt like it was vibrating. I suddenly felt so connected to every woman that ever was. This feminine energy was coursing through my veins which encouraged me to explore my creativity. I moved my body with yoga, through singing, playing the Native American flute and quite incredibly, I began to draw, which surprised me as I have never been much of an artist other than drawing the odd horse at school. But here in the jungle I was creating the most incredible drawings, and spookily I felt like I wasn’t doing a thing. My mind would suddenly pick up a vision and a voice would say to me “draw it”. I found my pencils gliding effortlessly across the paper creating images with such a wonderful energy that it completely blew me away. Snakes, butterflies, celestial beings, and then came the goddesses. Medusa arrived first, I saw her as being the the most misunderstood goddess in history. As she came to life on paper I felt her pain and frustration and this deep remorse for the way history had portrayed her. She delivered a message to me that she was a powerful snake goddess who had been betrayed and mistreated. I felt that through my drawing I was able to fully connect with her and hear her story. Almost as soon as she was completed, a series of goddesses of the elements appeared. The water goddess came as a beautiful elegant mermaid holding the crescent moon in her hands, she was a reminder that the moon is the ruler of our tides and our flow, so we must always remember to tap into that to keep our alignment. The fire goddess appeared next as a calm and serene gentle woman at peace in the fiery underworld. A reminder to always find peace in the most intense of situations. The goddess of air appeared as a bold and powerful woman riding the clouds, blowing away the debris and clutter that is no longer needed. A reminder to allow that cleansing and purging process to release the old and make way for the new. Finally, on the last day of my retreat the goddess of earth appeared as a stunningly beautiful woman connected to the ground via roots coming from her feet. Holding the earth in the palm of her hand while connecting to plants as medicine. A clear message to us that everything we need in order to facilitate our own healing is available to us right on this home planet. These can be accessed through grounding to the earth, being in nature and using plants, herbs and organic foods to heal us.

After my dieta ended I felt so courageous and full of confidence that I decided to go onwards to Ecuador and do a little more travelling. I found myself in some pretty testing situations, but the plants were telling me not to worry and I would be truly looked after if I just go with it and surrender. Chuchuhuasi has been a really incredible blessing in my life and I am grateful for the teachings it gave me. It really helped me to face up to the changes I needed to make in order to be happy and showed me that I will always be ok in life if I just trust my heart and believe I will always be ok. My life post Peru has been really eye opening too, I feel a much deeper connection with women and I’m enjoying connecting with them and helping them to rise. As a culture we have been conditioned to believe that women are competition, when really we aren’t so different at all. We are all sisters, allies, goddesses and we are stronger united than apart.

Thank you for reading; until next time,

Alison

For authentic Ayahuasca and master plant healing in Peru visit www.thegardenofpeace.com

Featured image credits go to Brendan Mulcahy